Dear Pizza Alien,

I just got this really neat shag rug for my bedroom floor to over up a paint spill. But the shag rug needed cleaning, so I got out the vacuum and then the shag got stuck in the suction. Now I have to buy a new vacuum. Which brand do you like to use? Thank you.

Signed, Sarah M., Arkansas

Dear Sarah,

I like Hoover. Also I Googled and it says use low suction setting for shag rug. Good Luck!

Love, Pizza Alien

* * * *
Dear Pizza Alien,

I have to get glasses. I don’t want to wear them all the time and I don’t want to have to remember them and keep them clean, it’s just all so much hassle. What would happen if I don’t get them?

Gah, Thank you Pizza ❤ from Gregory

Dear Gregory,

Aw, I’m so sorry you are feeling frustrated by this new life change. I know it seems like a lot, and it is. But you can and will get used to it and suddenly you won’t even notice all the care and attention being paid to them. You will have less headaches, and you are going to look so good and have a lifetime of healthy eyes. Go get your glasses Gregory! Please send pics.

Love, Pizza Alien
p.s. I have glasses too but just for looks. I think they look nice.

* * * *
Dear Pizza Alien,

My job just laid me off. My wife is pregnant and we have no savings and I have a gambling problem. I owe this one guy 10k and there’s no way I’m going to be able to get that. Please send 10k.

Hurry, Don R. Venmo: @DonR62538

Dear Mr. Venmo,

Sometimes when I get stressed I like to take a bubble bath. I think that’s really all I have to say to you cause I don’t think I get this .

Love, Pizza Alien

* * * *
Dear Pizza Alien,

When are you going to start your show and when is your book coming out I thought it was supposed to be this month I’ve been waiting for like a friggin’ year. Come on.

Love, your big fan, RJ


Thank you for asking!!! I know, I am sorry for the delay!! They will both be here this October! ❤️🙏 I hope that you think it’s been worth the wait. Thank you so much for your interest in me.

I love you, Pizza Alien

* * * *
Pizza Alien will appear in a book to be published in September October 2020, The Adventures of Pizza Alien, written with Meghan Jenkins, and is the star of a film by the same title, soon to be seen everywhere, which is written, directed, and produced by Ms. Jenkins.

Follow Meghan on Instagram!

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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