By Panda

* * * *
ZOOLANDER
[Editor’s Note: Meghan’s friend Panda, whom viewers of their live improv comedy show The The Ding Wrong Show (available on YouTube) met long ago and who introduced herself to readers of this website a few weeks ago, insisted to the editors and publishers of MeghaZine all last week that she would like to write for the website.

“Okay,” we replied, “What would you like to write about?”

“I want my picture on the website.”

“We can accommodate you in that. Other than a photo of you, what–”

“Every month.”

“That can happen, also. MeghaZine is one of Meghan’s many projects, Panda, and you are her close close personal friend, so I am sure she would be happy to see you–”

“I like movies.”

“–contribute to the website. Um, okay, we certainly want as many voices to write about as many things as we find interesting, Panda, so each of us can write about books and TV and music and movies. It’s great to have you on board. We usually publish through the month, but with a fresh start each new month, which begins next week. Can you have something by then?”

“Here.”

And so Panda foisted a piece of paper on which she had scribbled—you know, even though I have seen Panda write things down in front of me, I can not explain the mechanics of how she holds a pen in her paw to write anything. Besides which, she IS a panda—on which she had written down the titles of many classic films and some overlooked gems and some new ones that she intends to see soon.

She decided to start with the 2001 Ben Stiller comedy Zoolander. Also, her bamboo lunch sat beside her as she wrote (did you know those things are surprisingly messy? Me, neither), so some of the review is illegible and she had left before our typesetters transcribed it. Any gaps will be pointed out; the fault is ours.—Mark Aldrich, editor]

* * * *
When Zoolander first came out on DVD I watched it maybe 200 times. I haven’t seen it in like, ten years though. But here’s what I remember:

Panda, mid runway walk-off.

“Hansel. He’s so hot right now.” Derek Zoolander was the world’s best supermodel until Hansel came along. Derek had it all. Looks, talent, and a wardrobe to die for. AND HE ALMOST DID. I actually can’t remember myself if Derek Zoolander almost died in the movie, but I do remember there was an epic runway walk-off that I’ve tried to recreate with Meghan here at home, and we can’t do it. One of us always misses her spots, and her name is Meghan.

[Editor’s Note: Here there is a smudge of what appears to be bamboo smoothie. Panda declares that these are delicious. Back to Panda’s thoughts.]

And I remember there was a really cool gasoline fight at the gas station while “Jitterbug” was playing. I also ordered Orange Mocha Frappachinos from Starbucks for believe me like a year🧡. I never drank it though, I’d say “just kidding” to the cashier and then go “JITTERBUG!”

[Editor’s Note: That’s not nice.]

Um, what else happened … Derek’s dad was proud of him. Or he wasn’t. I can’t remember …

Oh, but there’s a scene where Derek is taking dark stuff off his face with cotton balls and he has a super tiny phone. There is a part with a girl I think, but I forget.

10/10: Panda recommends!

* * * *
Meghan Jenkins is an actor, comedian, radio personality, model, brand ambassador for Pineapple Clothing, and author of the forthcoming book, The Adventures of Pizza Alien.

A social media influencer, in the spring of 2020 her photos of life in quarantine led to an invitation from Maxim magazine to participate in a cover model contest for which readers could submit votes. Her grassroots campaign against professional models brought her to a third-place finish.

She is currently the host of the live comedy improv show The The Ding Wrong Show, recorded on Zoom and seen on YouTube:

She is a cast member of the upcoming The End of the World Podcast with Derek Erik:

In 2018-’19, she was one of the on-air personalities on The Ding Dong Show, recorded each week live with an audience at The World Famous Comedy Store in Hollywood, California.

From 2017 to 2018, she was the host of her self-titled podcast, The Meghan Jenkins Show, which is available on iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, and Soundcloud:

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Follow Meghan on Instagram!
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Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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