By Panda

[Editor’s Note: With Season One of the Mark Aldrich and Panda sketch comedy show now available, Panda decided that she wanted to talk with her fans online who want to know more about her, so she started to write and have us publish a blog about her life. By the way, if you have not started to watch, episodes one through six (with extras!) of Mark Aldrich and Panda are available on YouTube, and each episode is about ten minutes long and hilarious, if I say so myself, as Panda’s co-star. And now, here’s Panda with week eight of Panda’s Blog.—Mark]

* * * *
MONDAY
Monday, 12:13 p.m.: I just realized it’s Monday!! I blog today! How was your weekend? Mine was good. I’m going to take pictures by the Christmas tree later and Meghan is gonna take them for me. I might send out holiday photo cards. I don’t know how much that costs tho’. I also don’t know if I have to get a lot like 250 or if I can just get like, six. Maybe seven. I’m in the bath right now … I got this neat thing that I wear now, it tells me to keep moving and how many steps I have taken and it’s a lot of fun it makes me want to move around. It’s charging up now tho’, so that’s why I’m in the bath, so I make sure I don’t take steps that it doesn’t get to track. The light is green now, I think it’s charged so I’m gonna get out, go potty, and then work out and see how many points I’ve earned. This is exciting.

I haven’t taken my gummies yet. I got distracted by my cute outfit I picked out when I woke up: it was maroon fishnet lace tights jean shorts and a shiny mint green long sleeve collar shirt. I put on sunglasses too, even tho’ I wasn’t going outside. It looked amazing. I don’t know what I’m going to put on next, probably one of my shirts I got from The The Ding Wrong Show store on Bonfire and my soft orange short shorts. And white tennis shoes.

Monday, 2:01 p.m.: I just came in from watering the garden. Meghan was singing in the shower. It sounded pretty ok. I asked her if she becomes a famous singer if I can still do comedy, and she said yes I can do whatever I want and she will support me. That’s good because I can’t sing and I don’t even know if I’d be a good backup singer but I am having a lot of fun being funny. I think I’m better at this, what I do now. And I love blogging. I don’t know how I could blog about singing stuff except I’d have to make apology videos to Miley Cyrus and Cher and stuff instead of making them to comedians. Meghan said, “Panda, do not do that please. Please DON’T bother Madonna.” I will try. I can’t make promises. I made one though. I promised. Xoxo Love, Panda

Monday, 4:55 p.m.: I just got back from going for a ride in the Jeep! It’s warm out … “It feels like Palm Springs,” Meghan said. I have never been there. It sounds bouncy and fun and warm. I wanna go. In the Jack Benny episode that Meghan played for me they go to Palm Springs for Christmas. Maybe I’ll get to go there for Christmas too one day. And meet Jack Benny and Mary and Dennis. I just was told I’m going to be filming a lot coming up. Episodes for the Mark Aldrich and Panda Show! On YouTube! I love it. Mark and Meghan are making me a schedule right now of when I have to be ready to go on camera and lines I have to memorize. It’s easy. Sometimes if the lines are long and the words are hard, I’ll just tape them on the wall next to me. Mark is very smart and writes stuff … I don’t understand a lot of the episodes but people seem to like them and laugh. It’s ok that I don’t always get it. I’m a celebrity. And I get to say, “Oh hello!!” to people and, “You are so sweet to say nice things!” And then I can do other good things because people pay attention to me. I have to be very careful. With great Panda comes great responsibility.

I made chicken for Cooper. He ate it. Loved it. I’ll talk to you later maybe in a bit or tomorrow. Goodnight Diary I love you, xoxo

Love, Panda

🐼

* * * *
TUESDAY by Panda
Tuesday, 6:41 p.m.: I forgot that I haven’t blogged yet today. I also thought it was Wednesday earlier because Mark sent me a DM at 4:30, and I thought oh wow I am special Mark is thinking of me while he’s doing his radio show. And then ten minutes later I realized it’s Tuesday. And 2 hours and 15 minutes later from THAT I realized I hadn’t blogged yet. Today I took a four-hour nap, cause my wristband thing said I didn’t get enough sleep last night so I made up for it today. Right now I am eating apples and tuna. It’s a good dinner. I can’t remember if I worked out yet today or not so I’m gonna do it again because I don’t think I did yet. I am going to have to talk to you tomorrow Diary, because I have to go to bed after I workout and take a bath because my wristband will get mad at me if I don’t. And I like getting high scores. Goodnight!!! Love, Panda xoxo

* * * *
On WEDNESDAY
Wednesday, 12:34 p.m.: I found a book inside a garage and all these things were highlighted:

Reactive Attachment Disorder

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder (DDD)

The book is full of all these things. And I think I have all of them. I don’t feel real sometimes, and I dunno how to explain it but the book has all these words and it’s interesting some of it. Maybe I’ll be a therapist for pandas someday as well. There are all sorts of neat things in people’s garages. Sometimes they are just open and you can walk inside and touch things. And read books. Xoxo Love, Panda

Wednesday, 7:41 p.m.: I just finished filming episodes with Mark for the Mark Aldrich and Panda Show! (On YouTube, available everywhere.) I did it perfectly. There was just a little bit of screaming, but it wasn’t my fault. The screaming comes from downstairs. It just happens sometimes. I’m going to go work out so I can keep my nice panda body and then go to bed. This has been a busy day. Goodnight! Love, Panda

* * * *
Panda’s Blog: THANKSGIVING DAY
Thursday, all day: Happy Thanksgiving! I don’t know if I really want to blog about today or not. I have my reasons.

I did do a pumpkin body mask with Meghan and I am eating cheese right now. I am very happy about that.

We don’t have any turkey. Or anything really. But it’s ok! We are going to make our own traditions like, listening to Panda’s Dance Party volume 1 and volume 2 while doing pumpkin masks, and eating cheese, and, I don’t know yet!

Cooper is here! Oh! Maybe I should list some things I am thankful for this year:

1) my friends
2) my beautiful face
3) my hard work ethic
4) I’m funny
5) I like to watch people
6) grocery stores
7) velvet
8) the way cherries look and also the name “cherries” 🍒.
9) I would name myself “Rainforest” or “Wind” I think if I had to choose my own name. I don’t know why. Maybe “Sparkles” or “Miss Diamond Fluffystar” …

… . Hmmmmm. I was at the park one time, and a girl came up to me and she said, “Hello,” and I said, “Hello” back, and then I asked her, “What is your name? My name is Panda.” And she said, “I call myself Ivy,” and I said, “Oh! That is a cool name, what do you mean you call yourself that.” And she told me she just changed her name, and no one else knew except her and me now at the park. She was trying it out. I thought that was so fun to be part of such a big deal.

I don’t know where Ivy is now, but I hope she’s very happy. I was very thankful for that moment even if I was a little bit shy. But that’s just because I get shy sometimes.

I was in awe of someone so strong and brave and just like finally being who they wanted to be after having waited so long.

Happy Thanksgiving to Ivy.

And HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF MY BLOG READERS!!! Last year I did a live 24-hour marathon show, this year I decided to be thankful for sleeping and decided not to do that. Also no one requested it. I was the only one who had a good time. And boy did I. It’s on IGTV under Panda’s 24-hour marathon. It was great. I did so many things. I have done a lot of fun things. This is one bit of it:

I want you to know, that THIS is has been so much fun, blogging about my days. It’s been such a fun surprise to me that you are here right now reading my words. And if you’re reading this a long time from now, I might be dead. I’m not dead right now because I’m still typing this sentence. But one day I’m gonna be, and you’ll come across this part and be like, “Oooo OMG, she knew.” And then you’ll use this paragraph in reference to me when someone brings up “Panda’s dead.” So maybe right now for you it’s the year 2072 and you’re sitting alone in some little Mars space café wishing for your sister to get done with the robot dentist so you can get home to stand on the health regeneration pods … I just thought of these. Like a disc wireless phone charger but bigger and u stand on it like a scale and it robot voices at you and it tells you your weak spots and goes zzzzzzzizizizizhshshsakjhd with nanos inside you and then you’re perfectly healthy again. You can also set it to attack mode so you get stronger and ready for anything. Oh, be sure to also reference that I’m a scientist as well as dead when you’re talking about me … maybe since I just thought of this, it’s the only reason that I’m not dead now in 2072, and instead I’m standing right behind you! … .TURN AROUND!!! IT’S ME! PANDA! SPARKLES! MISS DIAMOND FLUFFYSTAR! SURPRISE!! Just kidding.

Well, maybe. … Maybe turn around if it’s 2072. Let’s all do that just to be sure. Wave to me, like, WAVE with your body at me so I’ll know it’s you. We don’t want to have an awkward convo by accident because I thought someone did the secret wave or vice versa. So full-body body wave in Mars café in 2072, if you are reading this right now.

Blog readers, I would give you the leg off of my turkey if I had one. Not both of the legs, because one is for me. But the other one, one leg from every turkey in the world; one leg off for all of you. I love you. Happy Thanksgiving 🦃 xoxo Love, Panda

* * * *
FRIYAY!
Hello, it’s 1:46 p.m.! I meant to blog earlier today but then I got distracted. Let’s see, what have I done so far. Well this a.m. I spilled water on the bed, so I had to take the sheets off and wash them and dry them early. It was just water, and I could’ve just put them in the dryer, but I thought, I’m already down here, let’s just clean them, too. So I did, and then I watered the garden, took my gummy vitamins, I washed my crockpot pots so I could put beans in one side and soup in the other side, and I then put both of those things in, then … oh! It’s warm out and windy, so Meghan and I put on puffy-sleeve shirts and went for a ride in the Jeep. We got to go to the juice store, and I got a green juice. It is called “Detoxifier.” The people at this place are soooo nice. They go, “How have you been?” (to Meghan), and to me they said, “Hello! I love your tights!! How are you, what would you like?” And I ordered so many things, and then Meghan said, “Panda, this costs money and your stomach isn’t big enough for all of that, just choose one.” So I picked “Detoxifier” because it has an X in it. I thought that was cool. I’m gonna go back. I want gift certificates to that place, they had signs for gift certificates, and it’s next to a present, and I think if you hand them a certificate they hand you a present. I love surprises.

I hung out with Meghan’s mom and dad a little bit today, Mary was asleep and not screaming so we had a good time together.

My BFF Meghan’s parents. Photo by Panda.

I put on a performance in the living room for them and Mary stared at the ceiling, and Ed had a good time. I did the best tap dancing. I had Meghan video record me and take pictures. I was really good.

Arms in the air! Photo by Meghan Jenkins.
Tap dance. Photo by Meghan Jenkins.

Friday, 3:35 p.m.: I’m petting Cooper’s belly. He likes it. I’m really good at everything today.

Oh! I planted gardenias out front. I was only supposed to do the backyard, and Meghan’s dad was going to do the front, but he took too long since he said he was going to do it and I wanted gardenias. They smell so good. They’re gonna blow in thru the windows when it’s breezy. The smell of them I mean. Here I also got pictures of Cooper getting his belly rubbed.

Cooper. Photo by Meghan Jenkins.

Friday, 7:34 p.m.: I worked out and danced to Panda’s Dance Party Volume 1 (Volume 2 is also good), and I helped Meghan send an email to the music producer because the third Panda’s Dance Party was supposed to be out on the 10th, and she paid extra for early release.

I told her to be like, “What is going on?!?” but she said, “I have to be professional, Panda.” So she said what I said to say but without the “?!?” Just a period. Just “.” Actually I don’t know what she said, I’m just making stuff up right now about that, but it’s hopefully gonna be out soon. I heard it and it’s my favorite one so far. [Editor’s Note: I’ve heard it too, and it is good. You’re going to love it.—Mark] Okay, I’m going to go to bed, I am tired. Xoxo Goodnight! Love, Panda

____________________________________________
Meghan Jenkins is an actor, comedian, radio personality, artist, author, musician, model.

Meghan is a brand ambassador for Pineapple Clothing. Use the code “MegJen” for a 20% discount!

Meghan’s brand new internet comedy show, “Mark Aldrich and Panda,” debuted in August 2021:

The Adventures of Pizza Alien, a novel of interlocking short stories by Meghan Jenkins, is out now and is available through Lulu.com and the online book retailers Amazon and Barnes & Noble. The Adventures of Pizza Alien is available for $18.

Panda’s Dance Party, Meghan’s first music album, was released in December 2020. It is available to purchase, download, and stream on every music platform: Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes Store, Amazon Music, deezer, Tidal, Pandora, Juno Download.

Panda’s Dance Party, Vol. 2 is available from these fine music services: Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes Store, Amazon Music, deezer, Tidal, Pandora, Juno Download.

A social media influencer, in the spring of 2020 her photos of life in quarantine led to an invitation from Maxim magazine to participate in a cover model contest for which readers could submit votes. Her grassroots campaign against professional models brought her to a third-place finish.

Meghan is the founder and host of the live comedy improv show The The Ding Wrong Show, recorded on Zoom and seen on YouTube:

In 2018-’19, she was one of the feature performers in the longest running improv comedy show at The World Famous Comedy Store in Hollywood, California, The Ding Dong Show.

From 2017 to 2018, she was the host of her self-titled podcast, The Meghan Jenkins Show, which is available on iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, and Soundcloud:

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Follow Meghan on Instagram!

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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