By Panda Panda

[Editor’s Note: Scenes for the third season of the Mark Aldrich and Panda sketch comedy show are now being filmed! See below:

Panda would like to speak with her fans online who want to know more about her. Thus she has decided to write and publish a blog about her life. The full first season of Mark Aldrich and Panda is available on YouTube, and each episode is about ten minutes long and hilarious, if I, Mark Aldrich, say so myself.

Panda and I read her first blog entry together for an episode of the show. Part One is here:

And now, here’s Panda with Panda’s Blog.—Mark]

* * * *
MONDAY
Monday, 9:01 a.m.: I am writing this all at 5:11 p.m. on Monday, but I took notes on sticky notes all day about what I did. I am guessing the times I did them all at. I don’t remember what time I woke up but 9ish sounds like a good time. I woke up and got myself into the bath and brushed my teeth and then I ate a bean burrito. Meghan gave me $20 to go get Juice It Up for us so I went and did that at about:

Monday, 2:16 p.m.: This is when I was at the juice place and they had a poster on the wall that had blue smoothies and bowls on it. I was only supposed to get what I was told to get, but I came back with one of the blue smoothies. They don’t say what is inside of it except, “Collagen peptides, something else I forget, and gluten free.” I didn’t try it I just gave it to Meghan’s dad cause Meghan didn’t want it either. She said, “What’s in that?” And I said, I don’t know, and she said what makes it that blue color, and I exclaimed, “I DON’T KNOW,” so then I gave it to her dad and he said it tastes interesting and kinda citrusy. I still didn’t want to try it, I don’t know why I got it, I just really like the color of it.

This is it: Vital Proteins® Blue Smoothie at Juice It Up.

Monday, 11:00 a.m.: Earlier, before I went to the juice place, I got to go on a jeep ride! It was nice out, I wore my jelly shoes.

Monday, 1:30 p.m.: I sawed a tree branch in the backyard and watered the lawn.

Monday, 4:00 p.m.: Meghan asked me if I have been doing my blog today and I said yes and she said where is it and I said it’s in these Post It’s, and then I dropped them on the ground by accident.

Notice the NYC street map tray table. I can learn where everything is in New York City while eating my waffles. (Photo by Panda Panda.)

Monday, 5:20 p.m.: This is right now, and tomorrow I get to go to the post office again, I am so excited. I am also working on some projects that Mark wanted me to do so I have to get in the bath again for the camera. It’s nothing to do with nudity, I am getting in the bath to get cleaned up so when I put on my clothes … OH!!!!! I forgot!! I also had waffles today and I got to eat them on my New York tray table so it was like I was eating in New York.

Season 3 of Mark Aldrich and Panda starts off in New York, and I like to get in the mood for things. I also took a nap right before I started writing this, but I didn’t get that good of sleep I just lay there, so I might go to bed early tonight and work on my film project tomorrow after the post office.

Love, Panda xoxo

P.S. I’ll see you tomorrow, blog.

* * * *
TUESDAY
Good morning Tuesday! It’s 8:52 a.m. and I slept great last night.

I spent all day watching TV, and then I found out Mark and Perez Hilton are on the same show produced by UG Comedy’s Todd Montesi!!!

I knew Mark was on it, but I didn’t know Perez was. I took screen shots. They are on a show called PN & Friends. I like it, it’s like a comic book come to life. Perez did a Cameo in it:

Perez Hilton on ‘PN & Friends.’

And here is Mark:

Mark!!

So after I watched TV I was trying to find some things to do as Meghan’s social secretary, and I noticed she never posts pictures of herself, so I spent the rest of the day trying to convince Meghan to let me do her hair and makeup and do a photo shoot I picked out the outfits and everything. Here are the results:

(All photos by me, Panda Panda.)

Meghan Jenkins. Photo by Panda Panda.
Meghan Jenkins. Photo by Panda Panda.
Meghan Jenkins. Photo by Panda Panda.
Meghan Jenkins. Photo by Panda Panda.
Meghan Jenkins. Photo by Panda Panda.

Goodnight!

Love, Panda, it’s late I have to go to bed.
P.S.: It’s 11:11 p.m. MAKE A WISH ✨

* * * *
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday, 7:41 a.m.: Hello! I hope you had a good night! I did! Thank you! Sorry, I had to put the blog down for a second to blow my nose. Don’t worry, I’m fine, I just woke up and sometimes in the morning I just have to blow my nose. I don’t know why! Okay, so far today let’s see what is happening: I have on nice pajamas with red birds on them. The main part of the pajamas are blue and then the birds are red so I guess you could call these my purple pajamas. But one of my other purple pajamas are ACTUALLY purple and satin and short and they have lace, so now I don’t know what to call those ones. I’ll accept name suggestions. I am going to get into the bath soon but I have to wait a minute so I don’t turn the hot water on and make whoever is in the shower downstairs get freezing cold by accident.

Wednesday, 10:51 a.m.: I am still in my purple pajamas and listening to soundtracks of musicals. Rent, Hamilton, and the Cocktail soundtrack. “Hippy Hippy Shake” is on right now and I am shaking my hippies real good. But I’m also writing at the same time because I am good at doing things. I also love the “Tutti Frutti” song that’s on here.

Wednesday, 11:15 a.m.: I’m going to take a nap. It’s 11:16 now tho’. Not 11:15 anymore …

Now it’s 11:17.

The perfect nap time.

Wednesday, 3:53 p.m.: I just woke up from my nap!! It’s party time. Dance Party time. (Available on Panda’s Dance Party volumes 1,2 & 3! That’s me, I’m THAT Panda!!) I am going to find something to eat now since I am getting a little hungry. I have apples, pears, bananas, burritos, water, teas, eggs, and fruit juice pouches. I am still in my purple pajamas. I didn’t have anything to do today except … OH WAIT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON SOMETHING.

I forgot that Mark asked me to make a little silent movie for him that really showcases my artistic talent. All I can think of to do is just shower stuff like, “Ooooooooo the rain falls and this is so deep and also looks like an old Madonna video,” and then I put it in black and white and make flash flash flash flash then shoot to a scene where I’m sitting on the floor in a big empty room and then the screen plays a loud siren noise that starts off quiet for just a second like it’s in the background but then all of a sadden it’s soooo loud rar rar rar! But I’m still just sitting in the big empty room and that part is all out into brown not black and white, it’s brown. And then there should be probably a scene with some kind of animal like a goat or a cow and they’re just standing there being filmed cause they don’t even know they’re in a movie at all and that they’re about to have faaaaakkke bloooodd poured onto the screen over their image cause that’s just hardcore and prob means something who knows and then there’s gonna be quick quick quick quick change scenes of diff images they don’t matter what they are just as long as they’re all different for the flip thru and then it will go back to me in the shower and I’m like cryyyying with the water. Cryyying in the water waaaahhhhh and all the people watching will be like why is she crying but they’ll never know and I don’t even know because that’s what art films are. And then I say, “Fin,” at the end out of my mouth because people expect “Fin” to be written, but I’m gonna SAY IT and that will be so wow. This is gonna be amazing. I don’t know how to film any of this or do it tho’.

Wednesday, 4:06 p.m.: I got a little stressed thinking about do I really have to make a movie? or was it just a suggestion? So I’m going to watch The Jeffersons and relax. I just put it on. “Get the damn door, Weezie!!” That’s my fave line. I say it all the time anytime there’s a bell ever, and all thru all of the episodes when they’re on and then Meghan tells me to shhh cause she can’t hear what they’re saying.

Wednesday, 6:57 p.m.: Laundry time right now, since I gave Meghan a photo shoot last night I told her she has to give me one tonight so I can put pictures on MY Instagram, and people will look at ME. She told me since I was wearing my purple pajamas that I should take pictures in those and show people what purple looks like to me and that I should also put on real purple clothes and take photos in all of the purple clothes I own. I’m going to call it, “Panda’s Purple Pictures,” and you will be able see it on Instagram AND IN MEGHAZINE!!!!!! (If Mark says it’s ok. He’s the editor-in-chief. Meghan says she isn’t in charge of MeghaZine so I don’t know if they’ll be in there or not. If I put them in my blog here tho’, they will be in here because my blog goes in MeghaZine, so I think I just found the loophole.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! Soon to be in MeghaZine!!! “PANDA’S PURPLE PICTURES.”

This is gonna be the best.

Panda’s Purple Pictures. Photos by Meghan Jenkins.

Update to Panda’s Wednesday Blog from Meghan:

Hello everyone, I had set Panda up for the photos completely unaware the lighting would create a possibility for shadow puppets. Panda discovered it right away and got distracted. I did get one set of photos for you of her in her “Purple Pajamas,” but when I tried to get her to change outfits for the next photos she refused and seemed agitated when I attempted to put a purple sweater on her. She remained in the photo room making hand shadow puppets for about twenty minutes. She is currently in bed watching a movie, and I apologize that there will be no more photos this evening.

* * * *
THURSDAY
Today I think instead of a regular blog entry like I always do, I want to dedicate today to all who are being affected by the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Mark has been there, and knows more about what is going on, so instead of me talking today, I think we should let Mark talk because he has been teaching me a lot about what’s been going on. We also found some links to suggest for us all to send money to help feed everyone who’s involved in this crisis. May God bless you all.

Mark: The catastrophe in Ukraine—an unprovoked but not unpredictable air and ground invasion of one European nation by another European nation for the first time since the end of World War 2—can feel like one of those stories that is too big for any one person or community to address. As of March 7, 2022, some 1.7 million Ukrainians are refugees in other eastern European nations; that is almost one-twentieth of Ukraine’s population before the invasion started only twelve days ago.

A lifetime ago, I travelled to that part of the world as a college student. I saw Moscow and Kyiv (it was then spelled as Kiev) and other cities, all a part of the now-defunct U.S.S.R. Each Russian, Ukrainian, Lithuanian, and Byelorussian I met all treated me with an almost familial warmth in every circumstance. I witnessed a few moments in Kyiv that showed me a powerful and unassuming fortitude that we now see every day in Ukraine through whichever news source one uses.

I live in upstate New York near the Catskill Mountains, where there is a large population of native Ukrainians and people of Ukrainian descent. It is a large enough population that it is served by several major resorts; I attended a Ukrainian wedding at one of the resorts.

What can any one person do for the displaced people of Ukraine? Not much, but each one of us can do and give something. The International Rescue Committee, which was founded in 1933, is a great charity to consider. The organization exists because situations like this happen all-too-often all around the globe, and it possesses the global knowledge of international conflicts, the ability to connect quickly with local help, and the clear mission of helping refugees and asylum seekers.

It is apolitical, too: if something were to displace the people of Moscow while this crisis continues in Ukraine, the IRC would be there for those refugees as well. CharityWatch, which monitors charities to determine whether any given group actually lives up to its mission and how much of a donated dollar actually goes to help people instead of pay for advertising and overhead, gives the IRC an A grade and reports that 87 cents out of each dollar goes to those in need.

Community Organized Relief Effort (CORE), was founded by Sean Penn and Ann Lee in 2010 after the earthquake in Haiti. CORE already has workers on the ground in Poland to help Ukrainian refugees who have crossed the border. That organization estimates that a $15 donation will supply a family of four with a three-day hygiene kit and thermal blankets, as it is still winter in Europe.

World Central Kitchen was founded in 2010 by Chef José Andrés when he went to Haiti to help after the earthquake. It sends food relief to those in the midst of a community disaster, no matter whether it is a natural catastrophe or created by humans. That group has many people on the ground inside Ukraine right now who are preparing and serving food, even inside the bomb shelters and metro tunnels, in the face of danger. As Chef José Andrés writes, “We don’t just deliver raw ingredients and expect people to fend for themselves. And we don’t just dump free food into a disaster zone: we source and hire locally wherever we can, to jump-start economic recovery through food.” It may be the most expensive Ukraine Crisis charity to donate to, but right now it is one of the few groups that is helping people who have not yet been able to leave Ukraine’s cities, those who do not yet know whether they will head toward Poland or Romania or be able to leave at all.

Henryk Górecki’s Symphony No. 3 features in the second movement some words of hope and faith in the face of an unrelenting disaster: (in Polish) “O Mamo, nie płacz, nie. Niebios Przeczysta Królowo, Ty zawsze wspieraj mnie.” In English: “Oh Mamma do not cry, no. Immaculate Queen of Heaven, you support me always.” The words were scratched in a prison wall by an eighteen-year-old woman in Poland in 1944 and signed by her. She survived the war and lived to old age in Poland. Hope and faith are needed in that part of the world once again.

And now back to Panda’s Blog:

* * * *
FRIDAY
Friday, 10:46 a.m.:I am just starting to blog today right now but I have been up for a little while already. It rained this morning and I got excited and got all my rain gear out and then it stopped. It’s okay tho’ because I found other things to do instead like:

  • Paint a little bit
  • Stretched

  • Unclogged a drain with a stick I found
  • Made coffee
  • Daydream
  • Look around the room at stuff
  • Remind myself that I have to mail something today to NEW YORK
  • Find other things to put in the box I’m sending to NEW YORK
  • I changed my socks two times. Right now they’re black with flowers on them but just on the sides not all over, and there’s a fancy pattern down the middle.
  • Pretty and pretty cool, right? Photo by Meghan Jenkins.

  • Watched Hugh Hefner and the Playboy bunnies do the bunny hop.
  • Opened a package of snacks for me.
  • Remembered it’s Friday and I have to blog still. I kinda can’t wait for tomorrow I feel like I’ve been writing for years and I’m going to have a sleep day tomorrow maybe and … or … I don’t know what I’m going to end up doing tomorrow but I will probably have a good time. It’s spring almost again so I’ve been getting seeds and stuff for the backyard and digging up carrots from last year that are huuuuge now. It’s funny. one of them came off halfway in my hand when I pulled it out and the inside of the giant carrot part that was still stuck in the ground was full of carrot juice! I went inside to get a straw and to show Meghan so she could take a picture of me drinking fresh carrot juice from the ground and when she came outside and saw it she gagged and said, “PANDA! Yuck! That’s rotten. Don’t drink that,” so I didn’t get any carrot juice but she told me we could go to Juice It Up later today and get carrot juice there that is okay to drink. It’s not the same, tho’. I’m going to take a nap. Xoxo, Panda

    Friday, 3:23 p.m.: I have decided to give myself the rest of the day off from blogging because I deserve it. I have been doing a great job and I’m going to relax. I will be back on Monday. I hope everyone has a great weekend!! Xoxo Love, Panda

    * * * *
    Meghan Jenkins is an actor, comedian, radio personality, artist, author, musician, model.

    As a model, Meghan has been invited by Maxim and Miss Jetset magazines to compete several times in contests to appear on a future magazine cover. Fans vote for their favorite model.

    On December 14, 2021, Safety Date, Meghan Jenkins’ second book, was published. Meghan writes, “This book is dedicated to life, love and romance. This is also a humor book. Don’t take this too seriously. Whatever you have been through, if you are married or single, this book is for you. Safety first.”

    The Adventures of Pizza Alien, a novel of interlocking short stories by Meghan Jenkins, is is available through Lulu.com and the online book retailers Amazon and Barnes & Noble. The Adventures of Pizza Alien is available for $18.

    Panda’s Dance Party, Vol. 3 is available from these fine music services: Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes Store, Amazon Music, deezer, Tidal, Pandora, Juno Download.

    Panda’s Dance Party, Vol. 2 is available here: Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes Store, Amazon Music, deezer, Tidal, Pandora, Juno Download.

    Panda’s Dance Party, Meghan’s first album, was released in December 2020. It is available to purchase, download, and stream on every music platform: Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes Store, Amazon Music, deezer, Tidal, Pandora, Juno Download.

    Meghan is a brand ambassador for Pineapple Clothing. Use the code “MegJen” for a 20% discount!

    Meghan’s new internet comedy show, “Mark Aldrich and Panda,” debuted in August 2021.

    You can see each episode of Meghan’s previous internet show here: Camp Panda.

    Meghan is the founder and host of the live comedy improv show The The Ding Wrong Show, recorded on Zoom and seen on YouTube.

    In 2018-’19, she was one of the feature performers in the longest running improv comedy show at The World Famous Comedy Store in Hollywood, California, The Ding Dong Show.

    From 2017 to 2018, she was the host of her self-titled podcast, The Meghan Jenkins Show, which is available on iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, and Soundcloud:

    ____________________________________________
    Follow Meghan on Instagram!

    Creative Commons License
    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s